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The month of February...Valentine's Day, romance, love, eros, blistering cold weather, leap year, ground hogs and good old fashioned sex! To heat things up this Valentine's Day, we have chosen some very special selections for our VinylCheese friends. Don't play any of these sound files too loud however, you might end up with your co-workers in the next cube getting the wrong idea that you truly are some weirdo sex-freak.
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The
Mystic Moods of Love First up, in our oddysey of eros, is the unoriginally named "The Mystic Moods of Love" by The Mystic Moods Orchestra. As unoriginal as the title, the music is a combination of time treasured soundtrack songs, 70s soft-pop and age-old romantic classics. But it wasn't for it's mediocrity why we chose this album. On the contrary, it's selling point was the addition of a "Romantic Fragrance" that was added to the album to "enhance" the "Mystic Mood of Love". So enticing was this, that we both had to crack the album sleeve and take a whiff. Much to our dismay, the only "Romantic Fragrance" that curled through our nostrils was the sneeze inducing smell of mold. MMmmm....KKKAA-ching! A sale was made!
By the way, did we mention the sounds of rain throughout the entire album? No wonder it smelled so musty. |
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Erwin's
Zoom Party
This album proclaims that it is "...fantastic for making l-o-v-e" and that it is "terrific on a waterbed!" To that we answer with a resounding...YES! The best way to describe this "European Sexbeat" compilation is to say that it sounds like the soundtrack to a Russ Meyer film. It really doesn't matter which one, after all they all sound and "look" the same. Sounding severely dated, the kind of music that only undirty "sex-hippies" would listen to...you know the kind...paisley shirts, long chiffons scarves tied around their heads and plastic love beads that they bought at the local five and dime, this collection of "Sexbeat" music from the 60s and early 70s is allegedly a "definitive collection" of ultra-rare tracks. In a limited edition of only 500 copies, get out your LSD and put your morality on the back burner and as our hero Austin Powers would say "yeah baby!" Mmmmoaning men and cracking whips should satiate your most forbidden cravings in this track Die Folterkammer des Dr. Sex by The Vampires of Dartmoore. |
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The
Sounds of Love The early 70s was epochal time of experimentation. The sexual revolution was well underway and SIN-thesizers were becoming smaller and cheaper. Hence, the record we have before you. Performed by two "very emotional, ardent lovers" and a room filled with the sleekest synthesizer of the day, this album produces a range of sounds from grinding and horrible to downright embarassing.
Sensously SIN-thesized. |
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SEDUCTION! Finally, our favorite in the Sex U Up Series, an amorous tale for the beatnik swinger in all of us, with words written by "Dr." Billy Rogers and jazzy guitar score by Del Staton. Delivered with a deadpan, sharp-as-tacks Bogie-esque silolquy, this epic saga (told entirely from a barstool) of one velvet-voiced devil's quest to find the perfect martini and a tantalizing dame of monumental charms. This slice is a reminder of the swaggering age of Dean Martin. Men were men, women were witches and the drinks were strong. With the conclusion that "booze is the only answer", we ask, how could you go wrong?
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