Cheese of Life!

COLD GIN
A Tribute to KISS!!!

YOU WANTED THE BEST, AND YOU GOT THE...uh, well..."Cold Gin."

So, you can't afford to shell out 70 clams to see the new KISS 3-D show? (Aren't all concerts 3-D?) Well, neither could we. So, we opted for Cold Gin. The second best Kiss cover band we've ever seen, out of two. (The first, of course, being Strutter.) Where would be a better place to catch this act? Why at Doc's Landing SPORTS BAR in Maplewood, MN. Complete with lame ass d.j.'s from a local "classic rock" station forcing three unwilling participants to compete in an air guitar contest for crappy white t-shirts emblazened with their stations' logo. Yippee. Cold Gin came out nearly an hour and a half later than advertised, while we were subjected to non-stop Cradle will Rock (Van Halen), morons with LTB haircuts (long in the back - short on the top...sometimes known as mullets) and women with a fashion sense prescribed by "Trucker Cutie" magazine. We're not experts, but would the REAL Paul Stanley talk about the Minnesota Vikings, while Gene Simmons nods in agreement and makes a TD sign with his arms? We think not. Now, this is our moment to tell you that the persons onstage were not those represented in the photo we purchased for one buck. We figured, it was an investment for the future. What the heck. Gotta live a little.

Their fire breathing attempts were a bit anemic, however with a ceiling that barely cleared their heads, I suppose we can't complain too much. For that same reason, we assume that's why no explosions appeared either. Those $400.00 fines, for false alarms to the fire marshall are generally not appreciated by most club owners. We were treated with a different set list featuring songs like: Parasite, Hotter Than Hell, Firehouse, Strutter and Christine Sixteen. Their performance was a flattering portrayal to the true cheesiness that is KISS. Plus, "Paul" appeared in the first incarnation of Paul Stanley makeup known as "The Bandit". We wonder if he was trying to be unique, or if his visit to the Little Debbie truck pre-show hindered his ability to "pull off" the ol' one-star-over-the-eye look.

All in all, it was a Vinyl Cheese kind of night. Rock on.