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Christmas Quadruple Header

The holiday season brings out our festive nature at Vinyl Cheese. What better way to celebrate the holidays with seasonal song favorites sung in the flavor of the moment.

Our first two offerings are companion pieces, both released in 1979 as performed by the fabulous Mirror Image on Pickwick Records. You know, Mirror Image, the disco band filled with studio musicians who weren't good enough to be in *real* disco bands. So fabulous were they, the same model decked out in different festive creations...graces the cover of both albums.

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Disco Noel

To your top left we feature the ever popular Disco Noel featuring tracks such as: Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell Rock, Silver Bells but our favorite track being Joy To The World with bongo interlude and dentist drill whistle. Notice how our Love Boat clad lass merrily trims the Christmas tree with miniature disco ball ornaments while hustling her booty off? She can do this because *she* read the enclosed "Disco Dance Step Lesson". See this weeks Other Cheese for more details. Brush up on your basic latin hustle skills because without further ado we bring you...Joy To The World.

Yuletide Disco

To your right is Yuletide Disco featuring our cover model wearing a tinsel garland bodysuit (our personal favorite). Lucky for us that same fabulous cover model *already* knew her latin hustle steps and we get a sexy, super-imposed, boogie-down cover photo. Far and away, the best track on this album is Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree with the Hammond Organ pulsating throughout and plenty of lame saxophone solos to boot. Although the fish may be dead in your Goldfish Platforms strap those suckers on and pretend you are on a coke binge at Studio 54! Don't forget the spandex and don't miss Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree.

We figure by 1979 all the *good* disco bands had moved on to bigger and better things, while we were left to wallow in the mire otherwise known as Mirror Image.

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A Christmas Record

To your right, A Christmas Album is the "improved" special 1982 edition containing new tracks by a bunch of artist nobody cared or cares about. The "best" of these being: The Waitresses, Was (Not Was), Suicide, Christina and James Whites' song "Christmas with Satan." This is an Christmas album with lyrics that Bing never sang.

"My boyfriend said it's really sweet the way I go for Christmas cheer. I said we can't afford the tree, he said love is free. So we trimmed the cactus with my earrings that we'd meant to pawn there wasn't any snow but there was rain, he licked me like a candy cane, and then one day he said I can't stand in your way, it's wrong. With what, I asked but he was gone. Things fall apart but they never leave my heart. *** Christina - Things Fall Apart"

Apparently, this was a "club-hit"...Things Fall Apart.

Christmas Rap

Nest down, t' ya' lowa' left be, Christmas Rap, maybe we be plum jiggy crackers but wez ain't down wit seven out uh nine uh de rap puh'formers on dis cut. 'S coo', bro! Git out ya' ol' skool adun didas an' snatch out de kickerchittlin's before listenin' t' de dope beats by Run-D.M.C., Sweet Tee, King Sun-D Moet, Derek B an' de Surf M.C.'s. Dis album wuz mastered by de fabulous Howie Wineberg fo' Profile (Prostash) Records in New York City. Slap mah fro! Grooves included on dis boo-yaa album be: Ghetto Santa, Christmas in the City, Chillin' with Santa and That's What I Want For Christmas.

Dis be de album t' play supa' loud while cruisin' de boulevard in ya' low-ridin' hooptie lookin' t' pick down de goats. Widout furda' ado, Christmas in Hollis. Esamples uh de lyrics uh dis cut include:

"Mommy mommy look, here come Santa Claus! And he's black! Yo Ho Ho, Santa in de house. Pump it up, ya dat's right."

If you's kin dig it any uh dis, please scribble t' us at VinylCheese and tell us whut it means.

Special thanks to the Dialectizer for the much needed help in writing this section.

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